Minorityism

“You people are living in your cocoons” – Kapil proclaimed
“You must shed your inhibitions and try to merge with the mainstream”

“What does it actually mean? Does it mean I have to change my way of life to get acknowledged as an equal?” – MJ asked.

“Well, first of all no body is treating you badly, there is no discrimination. Well hardly any, right?” – Kapil asked.

“Sure, there is no active discrimination but I can see it in the eyes of people. Some people are prejudiced from the get go but thankfully they are not that many, most however treat us differently” – MJ retorted.

“I know what you are talking about. Look, there are two ways to deal with this, you either become insecure and slide deeper into your shell or you try to get over it. The more you act like the majority the less you will be noticed as an oddity. Sometimes asserting ones identity is a good thing, but you must understand that you are a minority and you have to play by their rules”

“But that is my whole point. Why can’t I be accepted for what I am? So what if I am different? Why do I have to shun my religion, my culture, my way of life, to be accepted as an equal?”

“Now don’t get ahead of yourself. No one is asking you to throw away all your traditions and culture. All I am saying is not to stand out, because if you do then you will be ‘noticed’ and the mere fact that you are noticed changes people’s expressions, which you take to be ‘discrimination in their eyes’ ”

“It is not always that subtle. The other day I was at a grocery store and the clerk greeted the customer in front of me with an ear to ear smile, joked about weather and price of commodities, he even offered to help him out with his bag. Then when my turn came he frowned and gave me a cold shoulder, did not even return my greeting. In fact he started to toss my stuff into the bags with discernible contempt.”

“It happens sometimes. Freak grocery clerks are not the best this society has to offer. You have to forget the bad experiences but remember the good ones. That is the only way to keep things in balance and maintain your sanity.” – Kapil moved his both hands in alternating up-down motion, imitating a balance.

“I am not overly perturbed by things like these. That clerk probably earned a tenth of what I do and that could explain his animosity, my point is that I can change my outward behavior but how can I change the color of my skin, or my accent? I think that is what matters most”

“Yes it does to some extent. But to be one of them you have to start speaking about things that they understand, and I do not mean accent. How many times has it happened that you go out on lunch with your colleagues and you drop out of conversation because you lose the thread?”

“Happens all the time. When they speak amongst themselves they talk about arcane TV shows from the past or games I don’t really follow, how do I keep up?” – MJ nodded as he talked.
“And the other thing is food. I don’t really like the food, even though I eat meat I do not enjoy deli style meats. There is nothing like a chicken curry”

I was silently listening in to the interesting conversation between Kapil and MJ. Kapil was from Punjab and MJ from Andhra, with a difficult name to pronounce even for us, so we went by the acronym MJ. We shared the same apartment complex and had run into each other many a times at the swimming pool and gym. The other thing in common was that we were all from India and were on work visas in US.
Once in a while we got together, like today, over dinner at my place.

“Tell me you guys, how many non-Indian friends do you have?” – I jumped in the middle of their conversation.

“Well, I have several American and Chinese friends” - Kapil smiled

“Acquaintances from work don’t count, you know them because you share the cubicle wall or face them in meetings” – I said.

“Hmmm. Well I do not really have a social circle beyond work and then there are you guys”

“And you MJ?” – I asked.

“Does Pakistani count?”

“No not exactly”

“Then none. What is your point?”

“Nothing, just curious”.